Media outlets worldwide are clamouring for a piece of the action, but Vanity Fair’s insubstantial cover story reeks of opportunism, providing a superficial glance at soccer’s hottest stars. (I’m thinking Annie Leibovitz just wanted dudes with hot bods to take their pants off.) Too bad many of the players pictured will miss the tournament, a gaffe that’s got to have Conde Nast cursing their uber-long lead time. Score one for the bloggers and familiarize yourself with these soon-to-be-household names.
1. Lionel Messi, Argentina, attacking midfielder: Rightfully billed as the best player in the world, Messi’s form is peaking at the right time. The diminutive winger will be spurred on by his egomaniac manager,Diego Maradona, who’s never had a problem with cheating to win.
2. Kaka, Brazil, midfielder: The centerpiece of the Real Madrid attack has always seemed to lack killer instinct, and he will face mountainous pressure from the impatient Brazilian faithful, who haven’t celebrated a World Cup triumph in (shock!) eight whole years.
3. Didier Drogba, Ivory Coast, striker: How badly does Chelsea’s fearsome scorer want to win the World Cup on African soil? Ivory Coast’s MVP has postponed a hernia operation until after the tournament, proving that Drogba won’t be acting when he’s rolling around the field in agony.
4. Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal, midfielder: The villainous Ronaldo has practically done it all at the age of 25: won the Champions League with Manchester United, been named FIFA World Player of the Year, and reportedly slept with Paris Hilton. But he’s never gotten the job done for his country. Two pressing questions remain: is this Portugal’s year? Will Paris be there to celebrate?
5. Wayne Rooney, England, striker: Here’s hoping Manchester United’s bulldog talisman will do his best to refrain from exiting South Africa the way he left Germany in 2006: stomping upon the opposition’s genitals in frustration.
6. Gianluigi Buffon, Italy, goalkeeper: The man who carried a low-scoring Azzurri side to the title in Germany will have to be even better if Italy plan to win it again. Their core players are all four years older and slightly over the hill, but Buffon’s magical display in 2006 proved that he’s more than up to the challenge.
7. Jozy Altidore, USA, striker: American soccer bosses are desperate for a breakout star to emerge at the World Cup, and no doubt they’re swooning over Altidore. He’s a marketer’s dream: just 20 years old, with an inspirational story, and a bit of seasoning in the English Premier League. Oh, and like all young North American sports stars, he’s addicted to Twitter. If all goes according to plan, Altidore will return to America a hero. Now if only the MLS could get him back in the fold…
8. Xavi Hernandez, Spain, midfielder: The Spaniards breezed stylishly through Euro 2008 and are the trendy pick to come out on top again in South Africa. But with so many of his teammates battling stubborn injuries, Xavi must be the playmaking engine that drives the Spanish offensive.
9. Bastian Schweinsteiger, Germany, midfielder: This guy doesn’t just have the best name at the World Cup, he’s got a girlfriend who posed in body paint for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. He’s also got big shoes to fill, stepping in to replace German captain Michael Ballack, who will miss the tournament due to injury.
10. Samuel Eto’o, Cameroon, striker: Eto’o is the best kind of goal-poaching striker, and he will be a joy to watch, provided he plays, that is. Some nasty comments from a former Cameroon great have prompted Eto’o to suggest he might walk out on his team. I think he’s bluffing. Look for Eto’o to lead the charge when Cameroon get their tournament underway.
[via Rob Duffy]
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